Innovations - Hoverboard

So I was watching this thing in Tom's Quarters called a film titled "Back to the future". Now not sure what all the fuss is about, it's not like we haven't dabbled with the timeline ourselves. But their shuttle craft - the USS Delorian, is by no means pretty on the eyes! Wires everywhere and hardly enough room to swing a dead Neelix. More importantly, where is the weapons array on that monster?

Anyway, something in this caught my eye a hover-board! Overnight I put together a basic design for Belanna :

 

Nice isn't it? I slept well imagining tearing round a planet on one of these beasts whilst fighting off the enemy. My plan was to incorporate a tetranite shield emitter which would make this beast space worthy (only for an hour or two but fun all the same) and of course after stage one testing, the obligatory phazers, mini-torpedo launcher and plasma cannon all linked to infrared targeting, would be installed and it would be ready for use!

Well, first things first - Belanna couldn't get to grips with the hover aspect. I tried to convince her using the usual techniques, persuasion, negotiation and headlock, that it would work but she was having none of it! 

So we moved onto the weapons aspects. All weapons were installed and looked pretty nice. All fired without draining too much power either. Well done Belanna! However, Belanna took it upon herself to alter the schematics for the targeting system. She changed it from infrared to thermal detection. Not good when the hottest thing in sensor range, is the engine of the hover-board! 

Good news though, the shield worked a treat. As the thing couldn't fly at the time, we tested it by having a crewman stand on it in the shuttle bay with the shield at maximum. We then decompressed the shuttle bay and watched. to my amazement the shield kept the crewman on the hover-board and maintained a stable environment within. Unfortunately,  it was as they were being sucked out of the bay doors that I realized that as the engines were not operational yet, the only way to get him back was via transport and to do this he would have to let down the shield, which in turn would kill him. Oh well, whatever it took to get back my board.

Anyway, to sum up, the thing is still in development. It has prospects but i need Belanna to make it more user friendly, appealing to look at, smaller, needs to fly and the targeting needs altering. For those interested, I include a still taken from the testing range as of yesterday morning. It is the stage 4 prototype: 

Don't think I want to be seen dead on that!

What do you guys think? Good, bad or ugly?

Kathryn.

 

INNOVATION - MRS Happy

This was to be the phazor of all phazors. It was supposed to surpass even my trusty Mr Happy in terms of power, style and ease of use. However, Belanna managed to mess that up!

The specifications were that it had to be approximately the same size as Mr Happy, look similar but have twin multi-directional phazors, inbuilt pulse gun along with a type 1 deflector. I also asked if she could throw in a phaze cannon attached to the barrel but knew it would be a long shot at best.

Well what can I say about this beast? What should have become my new best friend, never even made it off the testing range. 

Firstly, the multidirectional phazors worked rather well. The energy consumption was dramatically reduced by over a third however the targeting array kept frying and melting the trigger mechanism in the process leaving the user ducking for cover as the thing fired shots off at random locations.

Secondly, the type 1 deflector just couldn't be incorporated correctly. We all ways ended up with everything being deflected away from the unit - including the user. I lost 17 members of my crew testing this!

Third was the phaze cannon. I have to commend Belanna on at least trying to incorporate this into the unit. However, whilst charging, the thing would overload dispensing the charge into the unit instantly frying the user. Another 8 crew members sacrificed themselves on this part of the project.

Then we come to the style of the unit. Just because I wanted to name it Mrs Happy doesn't mean it had to look like something Chacotay made on the funny farm. Put simply, there was just no way I was taking that thing anywhere! Although I did send it to the Borg Queen on her birthday. You can only imagine the look on her face when she tried that out - kept me going for weeks!

PROJECT - Mrs Happy (Phasor Mark 15)

OUTCOME - Failure, although a success in that we got the Borg Queen good!

TOTAL COST - 25 Crew members, 47 phasor coils, 24 pots of glitter, 6 tubs of glue and 2 pairs of safety scissors. - Yes Chacotay tried to help!

Kathryn,

INNOVATIONS - Matrix Coat

Pretty much was supposed to do what it said on the tin. Long, black leather number with plenty of room room for Mr Happy, that when worn gives me the ability to fly around like Neo!

To cut along story short, Belanna never got very far with this. In fact, I think the only step she took that was successful was to replicate the coat. I'm not going to say too much about the unveiling but I will say I wasn't convinced with Belanna's efforts to make me think it worked. Pretending to move slow in the hope I would be deceived into believing I was moving cheeta-fast, was pretty weak. I thought I taught her better than that? I won't even mention the wires used to hoist me round the room when I jumped, they were more obvious that Seska's inevitable betrayal!

Anyway, needless to say the product failed and Belanna suffered for it!

PRODUCT - Matrix coat (Black - size 12)

OUTCOME - Failure!

TOTAL COST - Belanna's dignity.

Kathryn.