Kathryn Janeway, Captain of the Starship Voyager. I am here to tell all about Starfleet. Uncover the deception, the lies and the damn right incompetence at the heart of the Federation. Oh, and a few other things too!

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CCTV footage from last time i left Voyager for only three hours!!!

Shows what can happen if you don't keep a tight leash!

Goddess of Scifi's star trek challenge...

Here you go Goddess of SciFi, here is my entry to A gift for Kirk, part 2

GoAnimate.com: Late show with Palin

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Why did I get Seven?

I often here many questions and come across umpteen theories as to why I decided to allow Seven of Nine onto Voyager and now I will reveal the truth.

Was it because I wanted a sexy female figure to lure the men?

Of course not - Have you seen me? If it was to lure the men, would I have dressed her up in a silver condom? I think not!

Was it to anger the Borg Queen?
That wasn't the intention, but I do like how that panned out!

Was it to gain a technological advantage over other species in the Delta Quadrant?
Not really as Voyager already had that the minute we arrived. To be honest I think I could have turned up in a garbage scow called Galactica and still had the advantage!

So what was the real reason?
Well, at the time there was a huge fad encompassing the federation and i just didn't want to be left out, but as is my nature, needed to go one better. Seven of nine was intended to be my tamogotchi!

Don't believe me - I even had a friend of mine make an advert!

Chacotay time!

Only the other week I was sat in my ready room tucking into a fresh mug of tea - LMFAO!!! Of course it was coffee, black just the way I like it when over the comm came an emergency message from Chacotay. 

"Ahhhhhh, help me!!!!!" Of course I had to wait a few seconds whilst the translator deciphered the high-pitched girly screams.
"Help me. A giant Targ is loose on deck six and it has my scent" Doesn't everyone? i thought to myself as i took a long sip of my columbian coffee and the screaming continued.
"Oh my god it's got my leg! It's mauling me...HELP me....I want my mummy!"

It was at that moment, as i smiled to myself, that Tuvok entered to inform me that there was indeed an unknown lifeform on deck six near Chacotay's location. I said thank you and turned up the volume of the comm -something soothing about it. I would have let the screams continue, but Tuvok then informed me that there was a delay in making the last insurance premium on Chacotay and he was no longer insured for accidental injury or death.

I dropped my coffee grabbed mr happy and activated the transporter. Couldn't stop laughing at the Targ that was mauling Chacotay...

Is this really scary, even to the Chacotay's of the world? 

My video diary part 1

One person who understands me. A Commander, if ever i met one.

What does Chacotay watch?

Chacotay's favourite tv show...

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Innovations - Hoverboard

So I was watching this thing in Tom's Quarters called a film titled "Back to the future". Now not sure what all the fuss is about, it's not like we haven't dabbled with the timeline ourselves. But their shuttle craft - the USS Delorian, is by no means pretty on the eyes! Wires everywhere and hardly enough room to swing a dead Neelix. More importantly, where is the weapons array on that monster?

Anyway, something in this caught my eye a hover-board! Overnight I put together a basic design for Belanna :
Nice isn't it? I slept well imagining tearing round a planet on one of these beasts whilst fighting off the enemy. My plan was to incorporate a tetranite shield emitter which would make this beast space worthy (only for an hour or two but fun all the same) and of course after stage one testing, the obligatory phazers, mini-torpedo launcher and plasma cannon all linked to infrared targeting, would be installed and it would be ready for use!

Well, first things first - Belanna couldn't get to grips with the hover aspect. I tried to convince her using the usual techniques, persuasion, negotiation and headlock, that it would work but she was having none of it! 

So we moved onto the weapons aspects. All weapons were installed and looked pretty nice. All fired without draining too much power either. Well done Belanna! However, Belanna took it upon herself to alter the schematics for the targeting system. She changed it from infrared to thermal detection. Not good when the hottest thing in sensor range, is the engine of the hover-board! 

Good news though, the shield worked a treat. As the thing couldn't fly at the time, we tested it by having a crewman stand on it in the shuttle bay with the shield at maximum. We then decompressed the shuttle bay and watched. to my amazement the shield kept the crewman on the hover-board and maintained a stable environment within. Unfortunately,  it was as they were being sucked out of the bay doors that I realized that as the engines were not operational yet, the only way to get him back was via transport and to do this he would have to let down the shield, which in turn would kill him. Oh well, whatever it took to get back my board.

Anyway, to sum up, the thing is still in development. It has prospects but i need Belanna to make it more user friendly, appealing to look at, smaller, needs to fly and the targeting needs altering. For those interested, I include a still taken from the testing range as of yesterday morning. It is the stage 4 prototype: 

Don't think I want to be seen dead on that!

What do you guys think? Good, bad or ugly?


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